


Fireworks

by Phanallamallama



Category: Free!
Genre: Happy Ending, Headcanon, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, he's only briefly in it tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 17:18:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5299829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phanallamallama/pseuds/Phanallamallama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since their fight, Haru had never gotten over fireworks. Haru had never gotten over Makoto either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fireworks

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea that after their fight Haru couldn't face fireworks anymore because they always reminded him of one of the worst moments of his life. I also wondered what would happen if the fight they had didn't get resolved, and Haru never found his dream. 
> 
> I made myself sad and then I wrote this lol I'm sorry.

Not liking fireworks is nothing new to the world. People hate the loud bangs and are much happier watching from the window as the noise is diluted and they just get to see the colours. Sometimes people have had bad experiences with them, like if they got burned or one set off astray and nearly hurt someone they loved. People didn’t think it was so weird to hate fireworks for those reasons, because as you grow up, slowly, you get over it. You’re now used to noise and the blare and you begin to enjoy the fizz in your stomach as they scream upwards and explode in an echo. It’s okay now because you know there’s nothing to be scared of, no more bad memories tied to them. For Haru, it was different. Haru had never gotten over fireworks.

He was meant to be getting married this year. She was called Sora and she was perfect in his parent’s eyes. They were being thrown an engagement party by his family, so many congratulations Haru really would rather not bother with, but Sora clung to his arm and smiled, helping through it. She was nice, and even if Haru had never really wanted to marry her, he didn’t mind. She knew she wasn’t his first choice.

Everything that evening had been okay until the fireworks had started. He’d felt his stomach clench and he muttered a quick apology to Sora and rushed into the bathroom, staring into the sink. Because even ten years later, Haru still couldn’t handle fireworks.

He could never forget the memory, he _hadn’t meant_ to shout. He hadn’t meant to run away and he hadn’t meant to never apologise, to never fix everything because everything in his head he told him that he had already lost Makoto and that he could never get him back. The screams of the rockets were the screams in his mind, of his voice tossing insults at Makoto, trying to make him hurt like Haru hurt because they had always felt the same. That had been one of the first times they hadn’t felt the same, and Makoto hadn’t understood. It wasn’t like Haru had either. Instead he had yelled, and his brain had short circuited when Makoto had yelled back because his Makoto never screamed and was always patient and now he was making Haru decide his life with one conversation when _he hadn’t been ready_.

He had tossed his insecurities back at Makoto, because then at least he had known Makoto was in the same place as him, that they were still together and could stay like that. But Makoto was different, he knew what he wanted, he had decided without Haru knowing anything. He had let go of his hand, and that had been when the first firework had flown.

Haru looked up at himself in the mirror, ruffling his hair Sora had told him to push back so it covered his eyes, noticing the bright colours shining out the window.

He quickly shut the curtains. He quickly shut his eyes.

Before, Haru had loved fireworks. He loved the colours, the smell, the look on Makoto’s face as he watched them with awe at their first festival together, five years old and clutching sticky food in one paw and each other’s hand in the other. Haru had told Makoto he was going to marry him when he was older that night. His face had lit up and he’d squeezed his hand, looking hopeful.

“Promise?” Makoto had asked.

“Promise.”

That was before he’d seen the colours reflected in green eyes as tears had ran down his cheeks. He couldn’t stand that look, and it hurt like someone had sucked all the water from his body. Makoto had said he would be moving to Tokyo, 425 miles away from him for four years for university, and that it was final. There had been an invite Haru had missed in his voice when he turned and ran. Maybe if Haru had told him he’d go with him then his life would have been better. Maybe he would have been going to marry Makoto instead.

He guessed not when Makoto didn’t contact him.

Haru thought he would be okay, but that was before he realised what dependency was. Baths didn’t feel good anymore because he couldn’t get them the same temperature as Makoto’s body. His bed wasn’t comfy because he’d been used to sharing it with Makoto. Food wasn’t as good when he was cooking it for himself.

He sunk back to where he had drowned when his grandma had died. He just didn’t have Makoto to make it hurt less.

It hadn’t gotten better. Rin had taken him to Australia to try and find his dream, but he had never really stopped thinking about Makoto.

_“Man, Haru, maybe Makoto is your dream.”_

That’s what Rin had said, and Haru had nearly punched him and run off again. Instead he had stood in the shower and cried, curling into Rin’s side as they were forced to share a bed and Rin grumbled and complained, but he knew Haru needed something to stay sane. Makoto was usually so close and not constantly having body heat beside him was throwing Haru into withdrawal. Not just from Makoto, but from everyone. Rin was trying his best, he really was, but he returned from Australia with a heavier heart and the need to see Makoto again.

Makoto had already moved to Tokyo. Haru had waited too long. His parents had said that he was staying with family up there whilst he set himself out, ready to start university but wanting to live up there for a while to get used to the city life. Haru wanted to slap himself. Makoto didn’t want to see him again.

Even when university actually started for him, Makoto never called him. Haru never called Makoto. He should have, he always should have but he just couldn't make himself. Rin went to Tokyo too. He told Haru that Makoto was doing fine, and Haru felt horrible for wishing he didn’t. Makoto was fine without him when Haru wasn’t and it hurt because did that mean he meant so little to Makoto? Or did it mean Makoto was finally free of having to look after Haru every second of the day. He didn’t ask Rin anything else. He still had Nagisa and Rei, but he had always been bad at keeping contact. His parents got him a job as an accountant, then got him Sora. He didn’t really know who he was anymore, but along with fireworks, swimming had lost its appeal.

Another bang and he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out, wondering if it would be Sora checking if he was okay. However it was Rin, and his hands shook as he read the message.

_Makoto is back home. Get it fucking right this time._

Rin had added a location to where Makoto currently was and his heart died in his throat. The seafront while the fireworks went off. Haru could just stay at the party.

_Fuck it._

He nearly fell down the stairs as he tripped out the bathroom, skidding down the corridor and colliding with Sora who laughed and grabbed onto his arms.

“Where are you running to?” She asked and Haru shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I can’t marry you. I have a promise to keep from when I was five,” Haru told her before squeezing her hand in apology and running straight out the door, the warm breeze hitting his face.

He had forgotten how loud fireworks could be since he’d spent the last ten years hiding from them, and how bright. Each burst and each time he felt his feet hit the ground he knew he was getting closer to Makoto. Would he look different, would he yell, would he smile? Haru wouldn’t forgive him if he had grown taller.

With another firework, another memory surfaced. _Boom_ , the first time he went swimming and saw Makoto’s hand outstretched as he breached the surface. _Boom_ , Makoto hugging him, his heartbeat pounding against Haru’s ear as he wished him a happy birthday. _Boom_ , when they had kissed a few months before everything went wrong and all Haru could think of was how his lips were cold from the ice cream they had shared.

He was not letting Makoto leave him again.

It took so much longer than Haru wanted to get there, but he didn’t care about the burning in his lungs when he saw Makoto leaning over the railing, staring at the ocean. He looked around quickly when he heard Haru’s footsteps.

“Haru,” he breathed and Haru cursed. He _had_ gotten taller. “H-how are you?” Makoto asked, shuffling a little closer to him. He had glasses now, had squared out even more and Haru was drinking in the sight of him again. It had been far too long.

He didn’t respond and Makoto chuckled, then his look darkened. “You look good. Er, Rin said you were at an engagement party,” he said cautiously and Haru was finally able to sort out his breathing, straightening up.

“I left,” he said bluntly and Makoto shuffled his feet.

“He said it was yours. Who is she?” he asked and Haru felt nauseous, but stepped up to him.

“I ended it,” he said and Makoto looked shocked.

“Why? Haru that was foolish-”

“She wasn’t you,” he said and reached out and grabbed Makoto’s wrist. He wouldn’t let go like Makoto had. “I’m sorry, Makoto. I’m so sorry,” he whispered, looking into his eyes and ignoring the fireworks blurring them.

“Haru…” Makoto trailed off, trying to move his wrist away but he gripped tightly.

“When we were five, I said I’d marry you. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to marry anyone else. Please don’t say that you have someone,” he almost pleaded, curling his hand into Makoto’s shirt and Makoto looked down and let out a sigh.

“Haru.” The sky went quiet. “You look beautiful,” he said softly and traced his jaw, but Haru yanked on his shirt lightly, wanting an answer. Makoto smiled. “There could never be anyone else.”

This time when Haru kissed him, Makoto tasted different, like mint gum and past experiences. But Makoto gripped his waist tightly and pulled him closer, Haru clutching and hoping it wasn’t another nightmare his mind was creating. It had been a while, but kissing Makoto made Haru want to swim again.

“You really look good in those clothes,” Makoto mumbled against his lips and Haru wondered if he could still read his mind. With a chuckle, Makoto kissed the back of Haru’s hand. “We can talk on the way to your house,” he said and Haru reached up and stole one more kiss.

They heard a whine as a final straggling firework flew into the sky and burst above them. This time, Haru smiled as it exploded.

**Author's Note:**

> That was kind of word vomit but you know.


End file.
